“What Was”
The streets fill with cabs and limos, with the happy laughter of the very drunk; the benches in Washington Square Park, briefly occupied by lovers, have been reclaimed by men who stretch out coughing under the Chronicle. We're sitting on the cold slab of a cathedral step, and to keep myself from kissing you I stare at the cartoony blue neon face of a moose, set over the eponymous restaurant, and decide on self-pity as the best solution to this knot of complicated feelings. So much, my love, for love; our years together recede, taillights in the fog that's settled in. I breathe your familiar smell - Tuscany Per Uomo, Camel Lights, the sweet reek of alcohol - and keep from looking at your face, knowing I'm still a sucker for beauty. Nearby, a man decants a few notes from his tenor sax, honking his way through a tune meant to be melancholy. Soon I'll drive home alone, weeping and raging, the radio twisted high as I can stand it - or else I'll lean toward you, and tell you any lie I think will bring you back. And if you're reading this, it's been years since then, and everything's too late the way it always is in songs like this, the way it always is. Kim Addonizio’s tragic poem about lost love is perfect for the month of February and Valentine’s Day. It opens up as light, cheery, and romantic. Addonizio paints a picture of a young couple enjoying a night, but the image is soon shattered. Washington Square Park is mentioned in line 3 as the location of the poem. This park is in Greenwich Village, New York City and traditionally the home of artists, musicians, writers, lovers, and free spirits. Addonizio’s choice of Washington Square Park is most likely intentional to establish the amount of lovers and happiness. With the first half of the poem containing “The streets fill with cabs and limos, with the happy laughter of the very drunk” (lines 1-2), “the benches in Washington Square Park, briefly occupied by lovers” (lines 3-4), and “Nearby, a man decants a few notes from his tenor sax, honking his way through a tune meant to be melancholy” (lines 18-20), it’s hard not to imagine couples in love. Addonizio moves from multiple couples to focusing only on her and her boyfriend. It’s very easy to see the passion the narrator feels for him as she says, “to keep myself from kissing you I stare at the cartoony blue neon face of a moose” (lines 7-9), and “I'm still a sucker for beauty” (line 18). At the same time however, Addonizio highlights how he smells like “Tuscany Per Uomo, Camel Lights, the sweet reek of alcohol” (lines 15-16), which are traditionally disliked scents. The narrator also feels self-pity when she’s sitting with her love on the cathedral steps- another warning sign. The shift in the poem occurs suddenly in line 24. Addonizio goes from a picturesque setting of two lovers in New York City to “I'll drive home alone, weeping and raging, the radio twisted high” (lines 21-22). It becomes clear that the previous 20 lines were all a flashback. The narrator is even begging herself to stay away from her ex; “the radio twisted high as I can stand it - or else I'll lean toward you, and tell you any lie I think will bring you back” (lines 22-24). Addonizio closes out the poem almost like a letter with, “if you're reading this” (line 28). The narrator knows that the love is too dead and gone to come back to life, but that it hasn’t been forgotten, especially when melancholy songs begin to play.
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SarahI'm an AP English student and high school senior who loves everything about lemons and Grey's Anatomy. This is my blog to talk about literature and everything English. Archives
March 2017
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