“On My First Son” by Ben Jonson
Farewell, thou child of my right hand, and joy; My sin was too much hope of thee, lov’d boy. Seven years tho’ wert lent to me, and I thee pay Exacted by thy fate, on the just day. O, could I lose all father now! For why 5 Will man lament the state he should envy? To have so soon ‘scap’d world’s and flesh’s rage, And if no other misery, yet age? Rest in soft peace, and ask’d, say, “Here doth lie Ben Jonson his best piece of poetry.” 10 For whose sake henceforth all his vows be such, As what he loves may never like too much. On the surface, this poem is a simple elegy (a poem of serious reflection, normally a lament for the dead) from father to son. But do a little research and deeper thinking, and it will open a whole new world for you. Historically, Ben Jonson was best known for his satire. Other than the moving lyrical prose, the reason this poem packs a punch is that it’s so different than Jonson’s normal work, it stands out. According to the Kübler-Ross model, there are five stages of grief: anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Jonson demonstrates all of these stages, except denial, in his elegy to his son. Denial is not present in this poem because the poem was written an unknown time after the burial. The first stage, anger, is reflected in “O, could I lose all father now!” (line 5). Jonson’s tone in this line is very much angry. He is literally saying that he cannot be a father without a son; he doesn’t even want to be a father without his son. Bargaining is the third stage. In this poem bargaining is present, but you have to go looking for it. Lines 3-4 say, “Seven years tho’ wert lent to me, and I thee pay/Exacted by thy fate, on the just day.” Jonson is saying here that God lent him his son for seven years, but he would pay to get him back again. Even though his son has to be “returned” to Heaven, Jonson wishes he didn’t have to be. The fourth step, depression, is littered throughout the elegy. “Farewell, thou child of my right hand, and joy”, “My sin was too much hope of thee, lov’d boy”, and “To have so soon ‘scap’d world’s and flesh’s rage/And if no other misery, yet age” are all examples of the immense sadness Jonson feels when his favorite son has passed away. Finally, the last two lines of the poem offer the acceptance Jonson feels about his son’s death. “For whose sake henceforth all his vows be such/As what he loves may never like too much” (lines 11-12) simply state that the speaker is vowing to never love somebody or something so much again as to avoid the emotional rollercoaster that his son’s passing brought. Envy is another huge concept of this elegy. Jonson explores the jealousy he feels towards his son in lines 5-8. “For why/Will man lament the state he should envy?/To have so soon ‘scap’d world’s and flesh’s rage,/And if no other misery, yet age?” Here, the speaker is grateful that his son escaped a hateful world and will remain forever young. There is an underlying tone of envy in this passage because he wonders why living beings cry for the dead but do not see the blessing in it. They get to leave this world and breathe without pain for the first time. In common words, they’re in a better place. Grief about the death of a loved one is universal. Everybody understands what is it like to lose someone precious and how long the recovery afterwards takes. However, the loss of a child hits the hardest because they don’t get to experience a full life. Multiple artists explore the feeling of losing a child. “Ronan” by Taylor Swift, “Tears in Heaven” by Eric Clapton, and “Fly” by Celine Dion tie into this poem because they’re all sung from a parent’s point of view to a passed child. Finally, the line of the poem that packs the hardest punch are lines 9 and 10, “Rest in soft peace, and ask’d, say, ‘Here doth lie/Ben Jonson his best piece of poetry.’” Jonson is calling his son a work of art, the best part of him, and his heart and soul. Basically, if the angels ask who you are, tell them you are my favorite work of art. These tear-jerking lines hit me really hard because before she died, my grandmother used to call me her heart. The simple quietness of the poem (and especially these lines) reveal truly how devastated Jonson is over the death of his son, but that he accepts it.
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Eating Together
I know my friend is going, though she still sits there across from me in the restaurant, and leans over the table to dip her bread in the oil on my plate; I know how thick her hair used to be, and what it takes for her to discard her man’s cap partway through our meal, to look straight at the young waiter and smile when he asks how we are liking it. She eats as though starving—chicken, dolmata, the buttery flakes of filo-- and what’s killing her eats, too. I watch her lift a glistening black olive and peel the meat from the pit, watch her fine long fingers, and her face, puffy from medication. She lowers her eyes to the food, pretending not to know what I know. She’s going. And we go on eating. In the poem, “Eating Together”, Kim Addonizio doesn’t dance around the main point of the poem, but doesn’t come outright and say it. She uses the narrator’s thoughts to communicate to the readers, while her body language remains the same throughout the poem. The use of an everyday setting (a living room, street, a field) is a common theme in much of Addonizio’s poetry. In this one, it’s a Greek restaurant. The simplicity of the location makes this poem seem like real life. Actually, this situation could have happened to Addonizio and she wrote about her feelings. The unspoken agreement between the narrator and her friend sets the tone of the poem because even though neither one speaks, the readers know exactly what’s being presented. “I know my friend is going, though she still sits there” (lines 1-2) offer the readers the first clue about the narrator’s sick friend. The next, larger clue is “I know how thick her hair used to be, and what it takes for her to discard her man’s cap partway through our meal,” (lines 5-8). “Her face, puffy from medication” (lines 18-19) gives the reader another clue as to she has cancer or another debilitating condition. “She eats as though starving—chicken, dolmata, the buttery flakes of filo- and what’s killing her eats, too” (Lines 11-15) give the reader the biggest clue to what is going on. This line cements that her friend has cancer, and the narrator is concerned. Lines 19-21 state, “She lowers her eyes to the food, pretending not to know what I know.” The unspoken agreement between the narrator and her friend is present here. From personal experience, when you’re really sick and you want to hang out with friends, you don’t want to talk about your illness. All you want to do is normal things like, watch movies or eat at restaurants and talk. I think that Addonizio described this potentially awkward situation perfectly. “ She’s going. And we go on eating.” (Lines 21-22). The final lines are poignant and heartbreaking, but perfect for ending the poem. |
SarahI'm an AP English student and high school senior who loves everything about lemons and Grey's Anatomy. This is my blog to talk about literature and everything English. Archives
March 2017
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