“On My First Son” by Ben Jonson
Farewell, thou child of my right hand, and joy; My sin was too much hope of thee, lov’d boy. Seven years tho’ wert lent to me, and I thee pay Exacted by thy fate, on the just day. O, could I lose all father now! For why 5 Will man lament the state he should envy? To have so soon ‘scap’d world’s and flesh’s rage, And if no other misery, yet age? Rest in soft peace, and ask’d, say, “Here doth lie Ben Jonson his best piece of poetry.” 10 For whose sake henceforth all his vows be such, As what he loves may never like too much. On the surface, this poem is a simple elegy (a poem of serious reflection, normally a lament for the dead) from father to son. But do a little research and deeper thinking, and it will open a whole new world for you. Historically, Ben Jonson was best known for his satire. Other than the moving lyrical prose, the reason this poem packs a punch is that it’s so different than Jonson’s normal work, it stands out. According to the Kübler-Ross model, there are five stages of grief: anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Jonson demonstrates all of these stages, except denial, in his elegy to his son. Denial is not present in this poem because the poem was written an unknown time after the burial. The first stage, anger, is reflected in “O, could I lose all father now!” (line 5). Jonson’s tone in this line is very much angry. He is literally saying that he cannot be a father without a son; he doesn’t even want to be a father without his son. Bargaining is the third stage. In this poem bargaining is present, but you have to go looking for it. Lines 3-4 say, “Seven years tho’ wert lent to me, and I thee pay/Exacted by thy fate, on the just day.” Jonson is saying here that God lent him his son for seven years, but he would pay to get him back again. Even though his son has to be “returned” to Heaven, Jonson wishes he didn’t have to be. The fourth step, depression, is littered throughout the elegy. “Farewell, thou child of my right hand, and joy”, “My sin was too much hope of thee, lov’d boy”, and “To have so soon ‘scap’d world’s and flesh’s rage/And if no other misery, yet age” are all examples of the immense sadness Jonson feels when his favorite son has passed away. Finally, the last two lines of the poem offer the acceptance Jonson feels about his son’s death. “For whose sake henceforth all his vows be such/As what he loves may never like too much” (lines 11-12) simply state that the speaker is vowing to never love somebody or something so much again as to avoid the emotional rollercoaster that his son’s passing brought. Envy is another huge concept of this elegy. Jonson explores the jealousy he feels towards his son in lines 5-8. “For why/Will man lament the state he should envy?/To have so soon ‘scap’d world’s and flesh’s rage,/And if no other misery, yet age?” Here, the speaker is grateful that his son escaped a hateful world and will remain forever young. There is an underlying tone of envy in this passage because he wonders why living beings cry for the dead but do not see the blessing in it. They get to leave this world and breathe without pain for the first time. In common words, they’re in a better place. Grief about the death of a loved one is universal. Everybody understands what is it like to lose someone precious and how long the recovery afterwards takes. However, the loss of a child hits the hardest because they don’t get to experience a full life. Multiple artists explore the feeling of losing a child. “Ronan” by Taylor Swift, “Tears in Heaven” by Eric Clapton, and “Fly” by Celine Dion tie into this poem because they’re all sung from a parent’s point of view to a passed child. Finally, the line of the poem that packs the hardest punch are lines 9 and 10, “Rest in soft peace, and ask’d, say, ‘Here doth lie/Ben Jonson his best piece of poetry.’” Jonson is calling his son a work of art, the best part of him, and his heart and soul. Basically, if the angels ask who you are, tell them you are my favorite work of art. These tear-jerking lines hit me really hard because before she died, my grandmother used to call me her heart. The simple quietness of the poem (and especially these lines) reveal truly how devastated Jonson is over the death of his son, but that he accepts it.
8 Comments
Eng
4/1/2017 08:16:18 am
Excellent analysis. Do you think that envy is a normal feeling in grief? Should a parent envy a deceased child? Why does he criticize himself for liking his son?
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Sarah
4/5/2017 05:49:09 am
I don't think that envy is a normal stage in the grieving process, but Jonson definitely felt some with the death of his son. He's jealous of the fact that his son will always be remembered as a young and good-hearted person and wishes that everyone can be remembered as such. I think that he criticizes himself for loving his son too much because in the end, Jonson was the one who ended up hurting.
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Candice
4/19/2017 04:02:22 pm
To answer your question, I definitely do not think envy is a "normal" feeling in the grieving process, but then again everyone's normal can be different. However, I did think you wrote an excellent analysis!
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Sarah
4/19/2017 04:04:17 pm
I hope you understand that I didn't mean that envy was a normal feeling in the grieving process for everyone but that I meant envy in the term that Jonson wished he has the serenity that his son has now. I agree that everybody is different though.
carley
4/5/2017 06:23:59 am
Amazing analysis, I have no criticisms. I am especially impressed that you did research on the author to gain more context for the poem and further your analysis. I also appreciate that you compared the poem to your own life to give it your personal touch!
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Alex Culver
4/5/2017 08:13:49 am
As has been pointed out before, the research into your poet shows great depth of though, and I admire and appreciate the effort. You state that the poem is atypical of the author; his is the realm of satire, generally speaking, and so I propose a different way of interpreting this poem. What if this, also is satire? This emotion is all for the death of his FIRST son, not his ONLY son, or just his son, if he had only the one. His saying he is no father without the first son, and that he wish he could die and join him is kind of a jerk move to his other kids, he doesn't care about them in comparison. Perhaps this is satire that points out the uneven distribution of love for children, that the firstborn and males get the love while the rest of the children are only privy to the scraps of the heart.
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Sarah
4/5/2017 09:33:16 am
To say that this poem is satirical is just wrong and very low. Ben Jonson lost his ONLY son and ONLY child at the time this poem was writing. People push boundaries with satire, but making the death of the author's ONLY child into satire is just unacceptable and ignorant.
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Cassi
4/5/2017 09:27:42 am
I thoroughly enjoyed your analysis, the background provided about your author was very beneficial to your entire post. I love how you included the five stages and gave a connection with each. Overall, very well done.
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SarahI'm an AP English student and high school senior who loves everything about lemons and Grey's Anatomy. This is my blog to talk about literature and everything English. Archives
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